Frequently Asked Questions

Spiritual Mercy

Meditation:

I understand Your words, Lord, and the magnitude of the mercy that ought to shine in my soul. Jesus: I know, My daughter, that you understand it and that you do everything within your power. But write this for the many souls who are often worried because they do not have the material means with which to carry out an act of mercy. Yet spiritual       mercy, which requires neither permissions nor storehouses, is much more meritorious and is within the grasp of every soul. If a soul does not exercise mercy somehow or other, it will not obtain My mercy on the day of judgment (Diary, 1317). 

Suggested Prayer Response:

My Jesus, thank You for teaching us through St. Faustina about “spiritual mercies” when we do not have material goods to give. We can always encourage others by our word, by our prayer, and by our kindness — and especially by sacrifice lovingly accomplished, which You, Jesus, called exercising mercy in spirit (Diary, 1316).

*The words of Jesus appear in boldface type

Please go to Divine Mercy Daily <divinemercydaily@marian.org> for original post

I must speak on this. Forgiveness is never, ever a "have to" for a victim of abuse. Preach carefully on this as forgiveness does not mean tolerate the unforgiveable. Too many times, I have seen well-meaning Christians and/or healers who glibly preach about forgiveness. It is always clear to me that this person has not lived as the abused in an Abusive Relationship. Preaching forgiveness must always be tempered with "this does not mean to reconcile, overlook and allow the behavior to continue. Glib "forgive all" too often makes victims feel misunderstood, they often feel that their pain and trauma is marginalized, and they even get the idea that they must endure "it". Lete me assure you: Christ died on the Cross to save ME from the sins that were done to ME. He cried when these things were done to me, and he lets me know how much I am loved and He has helped me heal from these traumas, partly through a lot of hard work, partly by showing me HIS wounds and partly by absorbing my pain into His own heart. 

One of the lingering aftereffects of surviving several deeply harmful relationships is how often the victim will seek out another person to help them manage their overwhelming feelings, or they constantly seek out someone else to help them do what they feel they should do. Personal experience has taught me that devoting every morning to saying a full rosary, carefully, thoughtfully, and including the reading of the scripture that stands behind the meditation can create a feeling of strength that no amount of therapy or drugs has ever even approached. Pondering the reference to a Crowd/cloud of Witnesses that stands with us eliminates the feeling of being abandoned and alone.  

Truism: There are many lingering aftereffects that families who abuse their own continue to perpetuate. They don't believe the victim, they privately say mean, hateful, cruel things, then deny they have been anything but loving towards the victim. If the victim tries to call out the family member, they will absolutely deny that the victim has CORRECTLY interpreted their behavior. They are really so good at perpetuating the lies and the demonization of their family member. For it turns out that abusive behavior is frequently repeated by other members of the family, ad nauseum, and long after the primary abuser has died or left the scene. The victim is typically and repeatedly isolated and demonized by and among other members. 

Family Members: take great care to listen to what is said about an identified victim of abuse. Somewhere in all of that, any current abusers will be revealing themselves. They will have zero real sympathy for any other person's real and genuine feelings. Their own needs are all they see, particularly when they have deemed someone else as being unworthy of their love and care. They will frequently talk about how selfish and greedy the victim is. Watch for this. Do they always need to win or can they share? Can they articular the value of a person that isn't based on their financial situation? Can they compromise or must they always get their way? Do they have an excessive need for adulation? Do they frequently beat their chest over some "stupid" thing they once said or do they eliminate people in their lives who are too toxic?

Watch carefully family members particularly when there has been past physical or sexual abuse of a family member. Understand well the hallmarks of abuse and abusive behaviors. Is there a family member that is always blamed when things go wrong? Understand what it means to accept responsibility for one's own moods and emotions and ask yourself if there is a member of the family that is always blamed when something goes wrong. Is there a family member that is always denigrated, dismissed, pitied, and isolated? 

Among victims of abuse there is often a repeating pattern of putting oneself back into an abusive family relationship because (1) the victim believes they deserve to be treated this way and (2) the victim is sometimes so desperate to avoid being rejected by their family that they will put up with any behavior from their family. Another truism is that victims must also work to ensure that they themselves do not perpetuate nor condone any patterns of abusive behaviors. Truly we must all walk carefully.

These are my thoughts while trying to sort through family relationships this afternoon. 

Judith Hermann, MD has had an enormous impact on victims lives over the last 45 years. She absolutely stands with RBG as an innovator and advocate for women. Do let me know your own thoughts on this. 

One of the lingering aftereffects of surviving several deeply harmful relationships is how often the victim will seek out another person to help them manage their overwhelming feelings, or they constantly seek out someone else to help them do what they feel they should do. Personal experience has taught me that devoting every morning to saying a full rosary, carefully, thoughtfully, and including the reading of the scripture that stands behind the meditation can create a feeling of strength that no amount of therapy or drugs has ever even approached. Pondering the reference to a Crowd/cloud of Witnesses that stands with us eliminates the feeling of being abandoned and alone.  

Truism: There are many lingering aftereffects that families who abuse their own continue to perpetuate. They don't believe the victim, they privately say mean, hateful, cruel things, then deny they have been anything but loving towards the victim. If the victim tries to call out the family member, they will absolutely deny that the victim has CORRECTLY interpreted their behavior. They are really so good at perpetuating the lies and the demonization of their family member. For it turns out that abusive behavior is frequently repeated by other members of the family, ad nauseum, and long after the primary abuser has died or left the scene. The victim is typically and repeatedly isolated and demonized by and among other members. 

Family Members: take great care to listen to what is said about an identified victim of abuse. Somewhere in all of that, any current abusers will be revealing themselves. They will have zero real sympathy for any other person's real and genuine feelings. Their own needs are all they see, particularly when they have deemed someone else as being unworthy of their love and care. They will frequently talk about how selfish and greedy the victim is. Watch for this. Do they always need to win or can they share? Can they articular the value of a person that isn't based on their financial situation? Can they compromise or must they always get their way? Do they have an excessive need for adulation? Do they frequently beat their chest over some "stupid" thing they once said or do they eliminate people in their lives who are too toxic?

Watch carefully family members particularly when there has been past physical or sexual abuse of a family member. Understand well the hallmarks of abuse and abusive behaviors. Is there a family member that is always blamed when things go wrong? Understand what it means to accept responsibility for one's own moods and emotions and ask yourself if there is a member of the family that is always blamed when something goes wrong. Is there a family member that is always denigrated, dismissed, pitied, and isolated? 

Among victims of abuse there is often a repeating pattern of putting oneself back into an abusive family relationship because (1) the victim believes they deserve to be treated this way and (2) the victim is sometimes so desperate to avoid being rejected by their family that they will put up with any behavior from their family. Another truism is that victims must also work to ensure that they themselves do not perpetuate nor condone any patterns of abusive behaviors. Truly we must all walk carefully.

These are my thoughts while trying to sort through family relationships this afternoon. 

Judith Hermann, MD has had an enormous impact on victims lives over the last 45 years. She absolutely stands with RBG as an innovator and advocate for women. Do let me know your own thoughts on this. 

When we walk within the darkness, Seek His Light, Find His Love

 May you see His glorious divinity in His perfect humanity so you may know His love for you 

My mind ponders so many things!! Some good, some difficult but necessary, some just nonsense.

Lately I have been taking an in depth look at Judas Iscariot. I have always wondered why if all sins may be forgiven, why wasn't he forgiven? He definitely sorrowed unto his own death, He went to the temple leaders and tried to return the coins, and last of all ~ if Christ knew he would betray Him, why did He allow it? Did Christ "select" Judas for this role?

Has anyone else ever puzzled over this conundrum? What exactly is the mystery of evil?

I believe the difference between Peter and Judas is the matter of their own heart. Judas had long practiced hardening his heart to His living savior. He had long placed greatest value on money, and it's accumulation and all that he perceived it could buy. Other people's affection perhaps? do they love me or my alms? Do they seek me for my money, fame, what? 

He always seemed afraid of losing whatever he felt that he owned during his lifetime. A mate, money, friends, adulation (seriously, do you think he also counted each card that he received for his birthday, so to speak?) He believed in his own ability to save himself. He slowly and over time hardened his heart to Love Incarnate. 

That was his sin, it isn't that his sins couldn't be forgiven, it's that he had taken such great care to harden his heart slowly and over time. He continued unto death to refuse to accept the grace of Christ's great love. He beat his chest over his failings, yet he simply could not give up his own heart; those beliefs he forged from his own experiences of life, his own wounds, his own betrayals. 

We are all wounded in this way, some more deeply than others, yet all are wounded in some way, thus we must each take great care that we do not harden our own hearts. Our most important question then becomes: in our own private heart of hearts, known only to us, is there anything that we absolutely refuse to hand over and surrender? What cost do we hold too dear to release? Old wounds, old fears, bitterness, our sense of entitlement or rightness; perhaps it's our children or our family, We must ask ourselves honestly if there is anything we refuse to surrender?

I am still pondering this betrayal, this unforgiven man who lived and breathed, supped and slept in the same room as the Incarnate God. It is difficult to reflect on this person without also reflecting on the mystery of evil. I believe that it is this mystery that defines us. It is the state of our heart that separates us from growing a heart that is good or growing a heart that dwells on fear, anger and bitterness. I believe that Judas died broken that Christ did not see Judas' truth, yet reality is that He did see Judas' truth, it was hidden only from Judas. So what do we fear? betrayal, "being used", being seen as an ATM, in other words do we fear losing whatever it is that we believe we currently have. 

Fear versus love, it is true that hate and fear cannot beget love. So, how do we grow love?

Oh my goodness folks; such are my thoughts this gloriously cold and snowy morning in Kansas!! Make it another great and holy day dear friends and family!!

You are loved without measure.

To Know God, we must cease believing in ourselves. We can only understand Him with a spirit of humulity and an understanding of our own spiritual povery. We must first, last and always lay down our own understanding and sense of rightness. God either calls you or He doesn't.

Cherished Family. My birthday was lovely and I thank each of you that helped me celebrate my 71st year. I came up to visit my Dear Mom as, after all, she's the one that did all the work. I'm just lucky enough to be the product of all her work. Seriously, why aren't the Mom's celebrated on a child's birthday? The child did nothing, why do we celebrate the child? One of those nonsense questions I suppose. 

When the cross you carry is simply too heavy; ponder His struggle to carry His cross and those who helped Him carry it. I do not think for one moment that He smiled and "faked it" on His way to Calvary. He is there when we are utterly and completely destroyed. Just kneel and focus on His cross, wait for the storm to pass. You are safe and the pain will be transformed; not healed nor taken away, just eased with beauty and blessings. 

God works within our reality and that means that whereever we are, we are already in the right place to begin our journey, or to continue our journey. 

Book Review: "Love Is All There Is": Love always demands Justice and Truth. 

We don't need to bubblewrap ourselves or our children, we need to practice faith in our children, in ourselves, with each other and in God. 

Assume the best in each person, including ourselves

We are not called to be perfect; rather we are called merely to work towards being a better version of ourselves than we were yesterday

I have had some really huge assaults on my personhood over the course of my lifetime. In fact, I was recently diagnosed with "broken heart syndrome". The details of why my life has been so challenging are not important; what is important is why I returned to my faith.  

I left the church for about twenty years and during that time my life was filled with terror and emptiness. Today, at the very bottom of everything I struggle with, what helps me most is the scripture that assures us there is a crowd of witnesses who do know the truth.. Also, it helps me to study the teachings of my church, specifically "the mystery of evil". 

I am assured in scripture that no tear is cried in vain, no suffering goes unnoticed nor is it ever wasted. We merely choose to work towards allowing our hurt and anger to soften us as a person. I have been such an angry person for YEARS and I never realized how often that anger was on display, even when I didn't think it was.

I work hard to not share my anger or my "bad day", sometimes it still gets away from me. Anger, fear and terror once consumed my life, however, I have learned that overcoming these feelings is a habit of learning to stand against them and to strive for quietness and healing in my soul.

When my feelings are overwhelming, there are several techniques I use to help me survive and thrive.

A) Accept the reality of your feelings and embrace them.  

B) Set a timer for five minutes, go outside and stand in a place where you can feel the sun on your face.

C) Speaking out loud and to yourself begin to describe the world as it relates to you.

     1) What do you feel; is it warm, cold, is there a breeze?  

     2) What do you smell: cow dung, flowers, freshly cut grass? 

     3) What do you hear? cars rushing past, birds singing, dogs barking, a donkey braying?  

      4) What do you see? is it ptich black so there is only the moon, is the grass green or is there snow?

D) The Secret is to describe outloud and to yourself the world around you, how it relates to you and how you relate to the world. 

Know that you are loved and God created you just as you are right this minute. 

Choose to be healthy; choose to live simply and to walk humbly. Do your best every single day

Catholics do not worship Mary. We do not believe she holds any magical powers. We simply acknowledge that Christ venerated His mother at the foot of His cross and that there is much to learn about living a devout life by reflecting on Mary's life journey. We venerate her as His mother, and we ask for her prayers and intercession. God provided us with a human being, created just as Eve was created, who simply made a different choice than Eve. God in His love and with His mercy provided us with a human being that can help us find our way through our own life, by reflecting on her life's journey. Jesus as Christ is a  divine creature who became man when He was clothed with Mary's flesh through His incarnation in her womb.

Absolutely. We believe that Jesus Christ saved us from sin and that His baptism cleansed the waters of the world so that we may also be cleansed from sin at our baptism. He set us free and loosened the shackles of our sins so they might break apart and fall down at our feet. It is when we confess our sins and promise to work on our weaknesses and failings that we .are reunited with God's mercy and love.